It Happened One Day on A Boat to Victoria

One day I took a ferry from Seattle to Victoria, Canada. I had smuggled a half bottle of wine (concealed in a Starbucks cup - classy!) and a copy of Scientific American to keep me occupied. A short while into our trip over the choppy cold water, I had settled in and the warmth of wine was coursing comfortably through my veins. Reading an article about African Cichlids, a type of fish known as a mouth brooder, I was fascinated to learn the female lays eggs in the sand, the male comes along and fertilizes them, and then the female scoops them in her mouth. When they're hatched and ready, she spits them out. Thrilling, no?  I was looking at several pics of wide mouthed fish that accompanied the article when I heard a little kid giggling uncontrollably.  I looked up to see the lady next to me had fallen asleep with her mouth wide open.  The kid was getting such a kick out of the sight, that we started giggling together.  I sketched the woman right away, much to the delight of the snickering imp. I gave the original to my little pal, but I drew a few more versions - one of 'em is above.  I know it's strange, but you do what you can to pass the time when stuck on a crowded ferry.   

Comments

[CHaosbyDesign]

Great story and drawing, and of course your darling Dali would approve of your reading Scientific American, as he did religiously

xoxo
L
L

[Vern]

Oh Sure 14! Blame the kid sitting next to you! Is that how you stay off of Santy's bad list?

PS: I love this one, story and all. What magic did you use?

[jerms]

That is FANTASTIC. I have done almost the exact same thing whilst trekking to visit pals in Victoria, except instead of wine, it was Strongbow Cider (not proud of this, but it was summer, c'mon...) and instead of a woman mouth-agape, it was a hoarde of fatties in leggings. You know how I hate leggings.

Always good art-prey to be had on Ferries.

[TwoPotatoThreePotato]

My friends would help, I reasoned. They all loved Luvia. Not with the depth and fervor that coursed through my form, of course, but she was a beloved member of the tribe. And I would lead them to rescue her.

The Beast sat, implacable and jaded, at a table, on a deck, alongside the river. Luvia and several other tribe members had just been unceremoniously torn from the comfort of the water, and now my dearest love and much of her family swam, panicked, in a bowl full of brown salty brine.

The Beast licked its lips ravenously, its chinless face quivering in anticipation of the exotic treat just ‘neath its pointed nose. Then it picked up the bowl, and with two swollen and slathering gulps quaffed the brine and Luvia with it.

The tribe knew only fear of the Beasts who’d been abducting our numbers from the water lo, these many years. And heretofore I, too, had merely swum fearfully away from the mesh traps laid by The Beasts for harvesting and slaughtering my brethren. But not now. As the ugly, corpulent Thing drank down my one true love, I resolved that I would mobilize my people to rescue those of our tribe who now tenuously resided in the maw of this Beast.

It happened that I was not the only one enraged enough to act. Alone, I was all directionless, helpless anger: But with the strength of several dozen of us, we of The Tribe would save our fellows and strike a blow against the behemoths who’d slaughtered so many of us for so long. In mere seconds, two hundred of us swarmed fearlessly in the water next to The Beast’s table.

Then I leapt out of the river's comforting cocoon, flew through the arid air, and landed squarely in The Beast’s mouth. Two hundred others followed me. The Giant emitted guttural, gurgling noises of unparalleled vileness as all of us forced our way down its throat in a frantic search for our fellows. I could feel The Beast’s insides churning desperately, but there was no way it could impede our moist and slithering route downward into its stomach. I prayed to the Old Ones that we weren’t too late.

The imprisoned members of our tribe splashed fearfully at the bottom of a surging pink well. And amidst the panicked abductees was my beloved Luvia. Her shining eyes met mine, and mutual joy filled us both. But there was no time for tender reflection. Now, nearly three hundred of us needed to escape.

At my signal, fifty of my comrades encircled the bottom of the well and began swimming rapidly around the moist pink interior. Their fins rubbed persistently against the well, until a low rumbling erupted from elsewhere within The Beast. Suddenly, the pink interior constricted in on itself, shooting us with relentless velocity out of the well, upwards through the membranous internal tunnels, and out of The Beast’s mouth in a glorious fountain of brown liquid, silver scales, and round surprised eyes.

That shuddering mound of Beast flesh vomited all three hundred of us squarely in the direction of our loving, waiting river. As I flew through the air—faithful Luvia at my side—I glanced over my left fin and noticed the beast rearing back violently. Its entire form writhed and flailed in obvious agony.

Luvia, the most beautiful being in my world, gazed admiringly at me as she, our brethren, and I flew like kingfishers through the sky and re-entered the river in one uniform splash.

[Sweet Subversion]

Grotesque and fabulous.

[javelin]

This piece is stunning. I don't think I could ever get fish to look natural. I almost want to see her wake up and gag.

[fast eddie]

This would make a great ad for the "Goldfish" snack crackers. I was thinking of this site today as I was ambling around the internets. I stumbled across an article that is a must see. Just go to the VH1 website and read the interviews with the former teen idols appearing on their new reality show. Can this be real or is it Christopher Guest & company?