resplendent chaos

It Happened One Day on A Boat to Victoria

One day I took a ferry from Seattle to Victoria, Canada. I had smuggled a half bottle of wine (concealed in a Starbucks cup - classy!) and a copy of Scientific American to keep me occupied. A short while into our trip over the choppy cold water, I had settled in and the warmth of wine was coursing comfortably through my veins. Reading an article about African Cichlids, a type of fish known as a mouth brooder, I was fascinated to learn the female lays eggs in the sand, the male comes along and fertilizes them, and then the female scoops them in her mouth. When they're hatched and ready, she spits them out. Thrilling, no?  I was looking at several pics of wide mouthed fish that accompanied the article when I heard a little kid giggling uncontrollably.  I looked up to see the lady next to me had fallen asleep with her mouth wide open.  The kid was getting such a kick out of the sight, that we started giggling together.  I sketched the woman right away, much to the delight of the snickering imp. I gave the original to my little pal, but I drew a few more versions - one of 'em is above.  I know it's strange, but you do what you can to pass the time when stuck on a crowded ferry.   

The Swedish Lamp Incident: A True Story

Someone dragged me kicking and screaming into Ikea, but thankfully I brought my sketchbook. At first, I was feeling claustrophobic with so many bodies swarming around silly Swedish furniture with names like Doofen Shaakel and Voorj Bjiik. I was about to tell my companion I'd meet him outside because I couldn't take it anymore, but then.....I saw them. A giant angry woman wearing a Christmas sweater was loudly arguing with a tiny cowering man wearing a floppy Gilligan hat. He was sheepishly holding a lamp up to show her, "Do you like this one honey?" he wimpered. "NOOOOOOOO!" she screamed. He slumped and turned to put the lamp back, his little Gilligan hat flopping in the wake as he stomped. Suddenly, Ikea became very interesting and I refused to leave. I stalked them as they wandered about the store. She towered over him and her Darth Vader helmet of hair gave her an imposing presence. He'd pick up a Swedish trinket of some sort, show it to her, and then you'd hear "NOOOOO!!!!" each time.

The best part was at the checkout line. They were still arguing about the lamp, thirty minutes after she shot him down. Like a little kid who didn't get the candy he wanted, the man whined and complained, "Why, why can't we get the laaaaaaaaamp?" This is the reason I don't watch reality TV - there's just so much better entertainment out there in the real world. Medium: pen, ink in moleskine, scrap paper.

King Of Spades: Nothing Like A Glass of Wine To Warm The Bones

Las Vegas Chronicles: The Strange Tribe of the Toddler Gigantus

One of the more amusing human tribes found along the Las Vegas strip (and the entire US for that matter) are the male species of the lumbering Toddler Gigantus.   Easily spotted, they appear not as grown adults, but as oversized toddlers who adorn themselves in outfits one would normally see on a 18-month old.  Borrowing from the mix-n-match concept established by children's clothing maker Garanimals, the Toddler Gigantus can easily dress themselves simply by pulling on a pair of roomy elastic-waist bottoms and pairing them with an adorable tent-like t-shirt embellished with charming sport logos or Ed Hardy knockoff images of skulls and knives (which the Toddler Gigantus perceives as making him look edgier).   To complete the look, the Toddler Gigantus will choose to lumber around in puffy and often unlaced clodhoppers that resemble soft little baby booties. More extreme tribal members of the Toddler Gigantus will often match his baby booties to go with the rest of the outfit, thus creating a colorful ensemble of coo-worthy attention. Medium: Ink on paper (original sketch here), digital color (detail shown here).

Here are some members of Toddler Gigantus spotted in SF's Fisherman's Wharf this summer.  A little smaller and edgier than the puffy pale species overrunning Las Vegas, these man toddlers demonstrate skill in mix-n-match dressing:

1. Awww, look at him nibble his teething biscuit while keeping cozy in his little hoodie.
2. A perfect example of how easy it is to pair plaids with stripes for ice cream colored insta-fashion!
3. Knives, guns, grenades and brass knuckles never looked more adorable than when paired with matching embellished trousers and a jaunty red bonnet.